Welcome to my page and my journal. Most journals on Deviant Art now a days are magazines and showcases to communicate various artists and ideas. My personal journals have always been (like my art) more of the personal nature. Like the fact the doctors had me scared to death about my heart.

I am very much a 'stream of consciousness' style of writer. I do sometimes edit them to make them flow better Other times I leave them a jumbled mess of phrases because they are more expressive that way. Sometimes I am just to lazy.

Some of the kinds of art I am 'into' now a days. Well, I am really interested in conceptual art. I love sculpture as even though both modern sculpture and conceptual art can be terrible. Yes, in this post modern world there is a lot of crap out there. I think its great though because even crap is better than a bland sterile world full uncreative types with no sense of emotion or culture. Oops! I think I just described my workplace!

Moving forward I must state that this writing is totally freestyle and should not be taken without salt. If your physician has prescribed a low sodium diet this journal entry maybe better left undigested.

I once had a college teacher who I had seen preform a conceptual piece a few years earlier. She did this piece on female menstruation where she took these tampon things and soaked them in cranberry juice and then stuffed them in her mouth. Need less to say the two young ladies I was was with and myself were slightly a gasp. The ladies were more grossed out then I but being male my understanding of the whole thing was more from ducking the pms syndrome.

We were standing pretty close to her and surrounded by other 'atrons' of the arts. We did make various noises of disgust and awe as she stuff the cotton strips in her mouth a cranberry juice drooled down her neck. I was more curious then the girls (both of whom had recently graduated from a prestigious art school and doing graduate studies.) They were just grossed out. They just critiqued the shit out of the whole experience. I just thought it was kind of funny that she had cranberry juice stains down her whole front.
I later came to realize this was part of the symbolism of the pain and horror of menstruation? Forgive ladies I really don't mean to be ignorant. I am absolutely positive that the whole thing is very painful and terrible and I can attest to being the punching bag for alleviation of its symptoms (if not the cause)!

The whole of the audience was in kind of stunned by the performance and nobody really seemed to want to talk about it. Well, except the girls I was with a I of course. They were trying to explain it to me but I really thought they were more embarrassed and shocked than anything. So when the artist/ soon to be teacher of mine/ came around the corner after cleaning up the cranberry cotton fuzz from herself she got an earful about vampires, tea bags and the state of goth. I thought she was going dismember us but she she just steamed on by.

Like I said before some art is good some isn't but better to have have something that resembles art then none at all. Personally I commend the artist for her actions in creating a piece of art that felt was important enough to share in public. I personally was just trying to be light hearted and interested in discovering what it was all about. I may had made a few barbs but I tried to keep them as quiet as possible. I was not really quite that well versed in either conceptual happenings or menstruation so, I tired to keep it subdued. Must have hit a nerve with her though because she constantly insulted me in her class and any other time she had a chance to insult me or my work no matter how nice or placative I tried to be. I even on occasion tried to discuss the matter with her only to get these wicked looks and abrupt dismissals.

Such a shame actually because I have become very much interested in performance artists such as Joesph Bueys. I even studied the 'Womans art movement', topics of womans art, origins, history, and so on, just to get a better understanding of the female point of view. I don't want to be insensitive to anyone who is trying make art. What I don't agree with was the way she went about putting me down and being unfair to me academically. She gave me a C not because of my work which was more than intellectually adequate but because of some personal grievance she had. I should probably gone to one of my professors and complained but I didn't really think she would go that far. I have latter come to realize that she done some kind of complaining about me to all the other female staff! So all the more activated women felt I was anti women and probably just a just some ignorant redneck that hated women, gays, small children, and animals!

I eventually set some of them straight with some art work about my views on women and sexuality. Just because I feel that women are beautiful does not mean that I condone any attitude that attacks, insults, objectifies, or belittles anyone. I have a mother too! I have a sister and I have many friends and lovers whom are women!

Lets just keep the beautiful people out of this all together, ok? (you know who you are!)

I think that now after so many years have passed and I can look back at this women's attack on me and say that she was definitely immature and incapable of excepting criticism. I would also agree that her actions an attitude towards me long after the fact were borderline criminal. I would hate to have really crossed her! She may have become physically violent with me! What I am saying is that she probably has some kind of psychosis that she felt she should take out on me because I was a man who attacked her work. Which really I didn't or didn't mean too intentionally. I didn't go to the art opening looking to specifically target her and her tampon stuffing, cranberry juice staining art. Hell, I didn't know that she or it existed at the time!

Yes I am saying that she was a psycho bitch and one of the worst kind because she conceived and executed a plan to demoralize and slander me! Detached herself from emotion and executed a plan! They call people who do things like that psychopaths! I really did not insult her that bad. Most of my insulting behavior was stifled groans of disgust and a few goth jokes. Did that give her the right to be so mean to me? I was always polite to her in class and when ever I had the chance to talk with her. Even other people thought she was weird!

OK, enough with crazy people. I think the lesson here is never to attend art classes taught by psychos. But even that is a stretch. I continued to take her class even though she continued to snap at me because I thought maybe she would shed some light on the performance ritual she had done at the gallery. I would maybe learn something ? Even bad performance art can change your life. At least I learned something about art in the process.

Be careful! Some people are psycho!
I just hate it when people get militant. At the time the whole school I was going to was starting to become that way. Anti male, anti white straight male actually. Its kind of sad because I don't have anything against people of different genders, colors, creeds, sexual preference or handicap. I spent most of adolescents studying Buddhism and pacifism. Always involved in art I have constantly been around all kinds of people. I have always been on the side of human rights and peace. I try to treat everyone with respect. Just the other day I me an Army Colonel. A graduate of War College! How different for my ideals is that? Does that give me the right to be nasty to him? His Idea of being in this society is to serve and protect. I have nothing but respect even though I feel war is inherently wrong and evil.

I still love art and women! I still try to make positive criticism when I can. I don't think flaming people is wise. Some people are just going to hate you no matter what. The only thing you can really do is just act mature and civilized. They will get theirs in the end. I don't really do much art these days. I do like to look at other peoples work. I like listening to what other people say and I try to make positive comments or comments that proliferate positive change. I think that art is very important for social dialogue and critique. I commend anyone who feels the need to create and express. I have very little patience for those who want to stop others from doing just that. I just concentrate on the golden rule and try placate harmony and peace in all things.

I guess I should end this here.
Just a few notes to add.
Later I should I should look into the very charged issue of the nude in art. Just so I don't get a bunch of comments saying I am chauvinist pervert? No more because I want to see some other viewpoints on the subject that are intelligent and intellectually compiled.